It’s not so crazy, hear me out!
In my last therapy session the Dr and I had a really nice good long chat, the product was about me needing to ‘create’ or define my own religion, not so I can create a cult of followers, although that would be financially beneficial, but came about because of the problems I have in making decisions.
Summary: The indecisiveness came from the not being breast fed thing. I never learned to deal with frustration. The Dr said walking in circles naked in a forest for 24 hours would help me make a decision because the frustration felt in deciding would be less so than the actual ritual/act. Following, or in my case, forming, my own personal religion would guide me in my life, a plan, a decision making process.
That is actually quite a fun process I think, and definitely something I need, helping also with my self-discipline, which I feel is also connected to the indecisiveness. I never had a role-model to guide me and have always just been floating around in life like a balloon caught in a breeze, with the occasional storm sending me far and wide.
How mess my mind is I know I need a step by step guide….
- So one Internet page I read takes an interest, it talks of the 4 pillars of life – 1: relationships, 2: work and providing, 3: health, 4: spiritual. The metaphor being of that of a table, needing 4 legs to stand straight and strong. I like the idea but it needs tweaking and more to it.
- A scientific article talks about the 7 pillars of life, in chemistry terms and actually directing to how physical life is created. It would take some time but I think it could be translated and also fits in with my belief in science over contemporary religions and science connecting fluidly to nature. The 7 are – 1: program, 2: improvisation, 3: compartmentalization, 4: energy, 5: regeneration, 6: adaptability, 7: seclusion. PICERAS for short “are the fundamental principles on which a living system is based”
- This next one is quite Christian, however it can be tweaked and serve quite a good purpose. Again it is 7 pillars, this is a good number, first there are 7 days of the week, plus 7 is the day on which I was born. Anyway, they are – 1: worship, 2: purpose and position, 3: relationships, 4: community/social service, 5: health, 6: prosperity, 7: education.
Leaving at that for now, maybe some quotes on each might help.
- Worship – “Worship changes the worshipper into the image of the One worshipped”, Jack Hayford.
- Purpose – “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”, Friedrich Nietzsche & “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference the you have lived and lived well.”, Ralph Waldo Emerson.
- Relationships – “Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.”, Walter Winchell.
- Community/Social Service – “Instead of drifting along like a leaf in a river, understand who you are and how you come across to people and what kind of an impact you have on the people around you and the community around you and the world, so that when you go out, you can feel you have made a positive difference.”, Jane Fonda.
- Health – “To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”, Buddha. “Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live.”, Jim Rohn & “The difference between someone who is in shape, and some who isn’t in shape, is the individual who is in shape works out even when they do not wat to.”, Unknown.
- Prosperity – “There is only one way to make a great deal of money. Have a business of your own.”, J Paul Getty [or be your own business. Me]. “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t.”, Thomas Edison & “Never forget: the secret of creating riches for oneself is to create them for others.”, Sir John Templeton.
- Education – “The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”, Tom Bodett. “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”, Nelson Mandela. “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”, Benjamin Franklin. “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”, Anthony J. D’Angelo. “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”, Aristotle. ***“Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.”, Albert Einstein.
*** needs some reflection.
So I went a little crazy towards the end but there really are thousands upon thousands of quotes on each pillar. Ideally it would be good to maybe list people who I respect, famous people, and narrow down their quotes on each pillar, afterwards then using that to think about what I feel would be important on each pillar and creating my own quote… actually the whole point should be what I believe in about each pillar.
Another thought I had would be listing every person that has come into my life, however briefly, and writing down what I admired about that person. These are of course reflections of myself and qualities I either admire in myself or would like to.
Time however is a huge key here, on the one hand I can’t expect to write my bible in a day, although that would be extremely beneficial, I think that I always want to achieve these things in a day, or a moment, is because I am fearful that once I step away from something I won’t go back to it. Or that it won’t come back to me.
Psychoanalysis would tell me here that this has to do with the abandonment I felt through the emotional loss of my mother at such a young age, and then again felt through the death of grandparents early on and my father leaving. By 12 I had lost a mother, 3 grandfathers, a grandmother and my father.
Maybe patience could be another pillar then, could patience link with trust or could that be linked with nature, worship or even purpose. Relationships could be linked with that too. Relationships doesn’t have to be solely regarded to that of our relationships to others but to that of ourselves.
A point I feel I should highlight as it strikes me is that this bible, this religion, doesn’t have to be the formula of how to be an amazing, perfect, shining example of humanity but can include negatives too, I mean relationships for example. I don’t have to be all serving and all giving, be selfish if that what sits well with me and makes me feel more at peace. Community for example, escape it and be alone, if that is what brings me peace and contentment. This is about me and me alone, to form the basis of my decisions. However wise Ghandi, Buddha, Einstein may or may not have been they had their life and this mine. Live by my rules to get me to my own enlightenment.
As a man with interest in many things I have of course looked into organised religion as a source of healing, many find it beneficial and supportive. I am however myself nor a follower of believer in our worlds major religions but this therapy session struck me, we’re story telling, what influenced us and shaped us, what guides us and how can we stay on the path of a healing and fulfilling life.
What are your thoughts on this as a healing process, on which direction it good take? Leave a comment or message me I’d love to hear any thoughts on the matter.